Cultivating Balance

Most of us move between extremes: showing up for everyone else and losing ourselves, pulling back so much that we feel disconnected and unavailable. Sometimes we tell ourselves we’ll find balance “once things settle down.”

Balance matters. It’s what allows us build resilience and cultivate connection. Balance helps us respond instead of react, care for others without burning out, and remain steady even when life feels full. Without balance, we’re more easily overwhelmed, depleted, or pulled of course.

Here are some tips for cultivating more balance in your life:

1. Accept the fact everything is in flux.

Sometimes you have energy and sometimes you don’t.

Sometimes you’re motivated and other times not so much.

Resisting or fighting inconsistency can lead to an increase in extremes. Recognizing and accepting this normal part of life helps. When you notice imbalance, give yourself grace.

Yesterday I was so patient and today I feel irritable. I’m not feeling so motivated today and that is alright.

Give yourself grace, accept your inconsistencies, and you’ll likely discover greater balance.

2. Let go of extreme words.

Words like always and never can impact your emotions which impacts your parenting.

For example:

• “My kid is never responsible” vs. “My kid sometimes remembers to do things and other times he forgets.”

• “He is always on his phone” vs. “Sometimes he’s on his phone and sometimes he’s not.”

Restore some peace to your life. Replace extreme words with the more balanced word, like the word sometimes.

3. Give up the unachievable goal of perfection. 

When you seek perfection, you are more apt to notice what’s wrong. This impacts your mood and interferes with your ability to maintain balance. Make a commitment to focus on learning, letting go of judgments, and being present. Not only does this restore balance but it results in greater effectiveness.

4. Notice contrasting emotions.

Sometimes emotions can feel intense. Identifying a contrasting emotion reduces intensity and helps to restore emotional balance. Recognize that you can have sadness and you can also have gratitude. You can have irritability and you can also have compassion. You can be afraid, and you can also be brave.

5. Search for the good. 

It’s normal to pay more attention to what’s negative. Humans’ brains are wired this way. But this tendency to notice the negative can have a negative impact on finding balance. Make a daily ritual to notice what’s good. Consider keeping a gratitude journal. Notice what’s good in yourself and what’s good in people you love.

6. Find the silver lining. 

Every challenge grants us an opportunity to learn. When someone you love might be struggling, rather than getting mired in their distress, remind yourself that out of adversity comes victory.

7. Slow down. 

Rushing around and multi-tasking increases stress and anxiety. For more balance, make an intention to slow down. You might not think you can slow down but you can slow down your breathing and you can stay focused on doing one thing at a time. Practice this incredibly effective strategy and enjoy more peace and greater joy.